


An Invitation

by UnifiedCreations



Series: Good Omens [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Adam's Parents are Great, Assumed Relationship, Birthday Party, F/M, Found Family, Homophobia, M/M, lowkey pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:14:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23162320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnifiedCreations/pseuds/UnifiedCreations
Summary: "We have a letter.”“What?” Crowley looked up from the rubix cube the Angel had given him earlier, two seconds away from turning it into a fireball. “What d’you mean ‘we’?”Aziraphale held up a white envelope that only had the words ‘Mr Aziraphale & Mr Crowley’ written on it in a neat 11-nearly-12-year-old’s handwriting. There was no address or stamp, but it had been dropped through the letterbox with the rest of the mail- that being the local paper.“It’s an invitation,” Aziraphale spoke, handing the letter over. “To Adam’s twelve birthday party.”~*~Aziraphale and Crowley are invited to Adam's twelve birthday party, a few Ethereal beings appear to cause mayhem and Adam's parents are wonderful.Also, everyone thinks that Crowley and Aziraphale are married. They may not be wrong, even if the two don't realise it.
Relationships: Arthur Young | Mr Young/Deirdre Young, Aziraphale & Adam Young (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Deirdre Young, Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley & Adam Young (Good Omens), Crowley & Arthur Young
Series: Good Omens [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1664986
Comments: 19
Kudos: 191





	An Invitation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KottaKitty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KottaKitty/gifts).



_Dear Mr Aziraphale and Mr Crowley,_

_I hope this letter arrives okay. I think it should because I want it to but my mum says that the Post Office likes to lose things on purpose sometimes._

_It is my 12 th birthday next week and my parents said I can have a party with all my friends. Since you helped me stand up to my not-dad, I think you count as my friends. ~~I’d like you to be~~ ~~my~~ You both really helped me last year and I like it when you visit._

_So on Saturday I am having a party at my house. My friends Pepper and Wensleydale and Brian are all coming and so is Anathema (the witch lady) and her boyfriend and some people from the village, but I think they are coming because my mum makes really nice cakes. I told them that you tutored me at school before and they believed me, but I think I might have made them think it. I can’t tell sometimes. How can you tell?_

_It would be nice if you could come, but if you’re busy with ~~Heaven~~ ~~Hell~~ work stuff then I understand._

~~_Have a nice day_ ~~

~~_See you soon_ ~~

_Bye_

_Adam._

_(Ex-Antichrist)_

_(Sort of.)_

_~*~*~_

“Crowley?”

“Mm?”

“We have a letter.”

“What?” Crowley looked up from the rubix cube the Angel had given him earlier, two seconds away from turning it into a fireball. Although admittedly he had had a hand in inventing them in the first place. “What d’you mean ‘we’?”

Aziraphale held up a white envelope that only had the words ‘ _Mr Aziraphale & Mr Crowley’_ written on it in a neat 11-nearly-12-year-old’s handwriting. There was no address or stamp, but it had been dropped through the letterbox with the rest of the mail- that being the local paper.

“It’s an invitation,” Aziraphale spoke, handing the letter over. “To Adam’s twelve birthday party.”  
  
“A party?” Crowley replied as he skimmed it, peering over his sunglasses. “At least he didn’t ask you as a magician.”

Aziraphale hmphed quietly, lightly shoving his shoulder as he went to the small kitchen.

“That boy has more magical potential than the rest of humanity combined, I don’t think he needs me to do magic at his party.” He muttered quietly, going through the cabinets in search of something. “Should we take presents? What do twelve year olds like?”

“I think the better question is ‘what do twelve year old demon children like’.”

“He isn’t a demon.”

“He certainly isn’t an angel.”

“Exactly. He’s the inbetween, he’s… human.” Aziraphale smiled as he returned, sitting on the sofa next to Crowley. “I think he’s the best that he can be.”

Crowley stared at the Angel for a few seconds before shaking his head.

“Ever the optimist.” He muttered before handing the letter back. “I don’t know, what do kids like these days? All I remember of Warlock’s birthdays was the boy throwing a fit over what he didn’t get.”

Aziraphale grimaced as he glanced over the letter again.

“I’m sure we’ll find something.” He replied, tucking it away safely.

~*~*~

Adam’s birthday came around quickly, although time wasn’t particularly an important factor in the lives of immortals usually. They left fairly early in the morning, Crowley swinging by in the Bentley despite the morning traffic in Soho.

“So what did you get him in the end?” Crowley asked as he sped up the motorway, keeping his eyes on the road for once. Ever since his precious car had exploded in front of him, he’d been much more careful in his driving (much to Aziraphale’s delight and relief).

“Oh, something I’m sure he’ll enjoy.” Aziraphale smiled, holding up a wrapped thick rectangle.

“Ugh, a book? Really? He’s a kid, he probably wants… I don’t know, video games or something. Kids like games right?”

Aziraphale shook his head, looking down at the neatly wrapped gift.

“It’s a compendium of beasts that I managed to save from the burning of Alexandria- which was one of yours, I believe.”

“One of mine? God- fuck no, I loved that place. Really nice lighting, great corners for a nap. That was Hastor, I think. Arsehole. Fire was always his thing.”

“Oh. Well. Good.” Aziraphale would be lying if he said it didn’t make him feel a little better about the library burning if it hadn’t been Crowley’s doing. “This book has been gathering dust at the shop for far too long now, and he seems to love those magazines that Miss Device gave him.”

“You can call her Anathema, she told you to.” Crowley grumbled, recognising the woods where they had hit- or collided with, rather- said young witch on her bike a year ago. “Eh, I guess he might like that then.”

“I think so. What did you get him?”

“Isn’t our presence enough?”

“Crowley.”

“Ugh, fine. I got him a pet.”

“A pet?” Aziraphale echoed, surprised. “What if his parents-”

“The kid is the AntiChrist, what are his parents gonna do to stop him having a pet?” Crowley rolled his eyes as they approached the quaint little village. “Besides, it’s small. Smaller than that dog.”

They approached Anathema’s house on their way in just as the young lady was exiting through the front door with a smile already on her face.

“Welcome back!” She called as she approached the Bentley, leaning against the wall surrounding the cottage.

“Morning, witch.” Crowley mumbled, barely glancing up at her before jumping as Aziraphale leaned _very_ much into his space to see the girl.

“Good morning Miss Device!” He greeted cheerfully, before being halted by his seatbelt that he had miracled into the car.

“It’s Anathema, please.” She replied fondly. “I’ve been expecting you.”

“Of course you have,” Crowley muttered quietly before he spoke up. “So you’re going to the kid’s party too?”

“Of course, how could I turn that down?” She smiled, looking back at the house as Newton’s face appeared at the kitchen window and he waved. “We’re making a few dishes to bring.”

“Would you like a-”

“Angel, no-”

“- lift there? There’s room in the back- ow!”

Crowley had jabbed him in the side sharply.

“No, no. It’s fine.” Anathema waved him off, making Crowley breath a sigh of relief. He hated having other people in the car- the Angel in present company not withstanding. “We’ll be arriving soon, though.” A troubled look crossed her face for a moment and she looked over them both. “I have a… strange feeling about today. Not a bad one, but be on the lookout.”

With that, she waved to them both and went to join her boyfriend inside.

“Hm. What do you think she means by that?” Aziraphale asked as the engine of the car started up again, the speakers quietly humming out _Queen_.

“Guess we’ll find out.” Crowley replied as he pulled into the road again.

After a quick disagreement on where to park, Crowley pulled up outside Adam’s house into a conveniently Bentley-sized parking space. Hegot out, snapped his fingers to open Aziraphale’s door then retrieved a small present-sized box from the back seat.

“What on Earth is that?” Aziraphale asked, glancing down at the box Crowley held as he knocked on the door.

“The boys present.” Crowley murmured in reply, hearing footsteps approach on the other side.

The door opened a moment later to a woman that neither of them recognised, but presumably had to be Adam’s mother. Of sorts.

“Can I help you?” She asked, looking between the two men.

“Ah! Yes, of course. My name is Azira Fell, this is my friend Anthony Crowley.” Aziraphale gestured to the other man, who gave a lazy wave. “I’m-”

“Of course, you’re Adam’s tutor!” Mrs Young reached a hand out for him to shake, which he did immediately and with vigour. “Adam’s told us about you, he says you really helped him last year.”

“Did he now.” Crowley muttered, turning a charming smile on when the woman looked at him. “Smart kid you have, really smart.”

Mrs Young turned her smile on him, seeming unperturbed when he didn’t offer a handshake.

“Thank-you Mr Crowley, he’s really come out of his shell recently. Oh, why are we still standing here, come in!” She ushered them inside, leading them to the kitchen where the table was laden with food. “Arthur- my husband- is in the garden finishing with the decorations, you two are a little early.”

“Oh, I’m sorry-”

“Yeah, Azira here likes to be on time.” Crowley elbowed him gently, and Aziraphale could practically hear the eyeroll from behind his glasses.

“It’s no problem! You’ve just caught us in a bit of a mess.” She grinned at them, sprinkling some edible glitter on a monstrosity of a cake. “The other guests will be arriving soon, we’re going to set up in the garden once I’ve… finished...” She murmured as she dusted off her hands. “Eventually.”

“Oh well please let me help you!” Aziraphale offered, stepping towards the table. “It’s the least I can do for turning up early.”

Mrs Young hesitated for a moment before glancing up at him.

“If you’re sure? I wouldn’t usually ask but the oven’s been playing up so I’m a bit behind-”

“Not at all!” The Angel said cheerfully, holding the wrapped present to Crowley. “Take this for me would you, dear?”

Crowley rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses but did so with his free hand. They both missed the way that Mrs Young’s eyes flicked between them before seemingly coming to a realisation.

“My husband should be in the garden if you’d like to join him, Mr Crowley-”

“Just Crowley, please.” The Demon smiled charmingly, already taking a step towards the back door. “Or Anthony, I’m not picky.”

“Ah, Crowley then,” Mrs Young continued, undeterred. “I believe he’s putting up bunting at the moment but should be nearly done, unless he’s gotten distracted. I’m not sure where Adam’s got to.” The last bit was more of a mumble to herself but the two others heard it.

“Right, shall we get started?” Aziraphale hung his coat up on a hook and rolled up his shirt sleeves before waiting for orders.

Crowley immediately departed, the small kitchen already feeling too crowded for him. He made his way to the back garden, immediately clocking the middle-aged man on a rickety ladder that was leaning against the house. In another lifetime he may have done a mischief on the ladder, but he had a feeling that injuring the Antichrist’s human father on the boy’s birthday may not end well for him.

“Bit of a health and safety hazard, isn’t it?” He said instead, approaching the ladder lest the thing decide to topple.

“Perhaps a tad,” The man replied, sounding slightly out of breath as he attempted to reach a hook on the wall. “But what is life without risks, eh?”

He finally managed it (perhaps with a little help from Crowley shifting the hook closer when the man wasn’t looking) and clambered down the ladder, dusting his corduroy trousers off. As he turned around he seemed to realise that it was in fact a total stranger (supposedly) in his garden.

“And ah, who might you be?” Arthur Young asked, adjusting his glasses on his nose.

“Name’s Anthony Crowley, my uh-” Shit, what was that term that humans used for eachother? “- my partner-” Wait, wrong word. “-my friend, Azira Fell, tutored Adam last year.”

“Oh yes, my boy mentioned you were coming!” Mr Young jovially offered a hand and Crowley was suddenly glad to be carrying two items which meant he could not return it. “Oh wonderful, you brought gifts! That’s dreadfully nice of you, you didn’t have to.”

“Think you’ll find I did.” Muttered Crowley quietly.

“What?”

“Only the polite thing to do, of course.” Crowley flashed a quick grin.

“Right, right. Anyway, we’ve been putting any non-perishable gifts on that table over there,” Mr Young pointed towards a table set up against the back of the house in the shade. “Anything like food can go in the fridge.”

Crowley meandered over to the table and placed both gifts upon it, feeling Mr Young’s eyes on his back as he did so.

“Say… you do look terribly familiar.”

Shit.

“Have we met before?”

Now, the evening of Armaged-didn’t, (as he’d taken to calling it) he and Aziraphale had checked and double-checked with Adam that every adult who had witnessed anything unusual- which was really only the odd Neighbourhood Watch man and Mr Young himself, as well as a few soldiers- had had those memories strategically removed and replaced with a normal boring afternoon.

Had they missed one?

“Could have, I guess. I- we’ve visited Tadfield a few times, maybe you’ve been to Azira’s bookshop in Soho.” Crowley shrugged, trying to think of a way he could get close enough to wipe the man’s memory quickly.

“No, no we don’t really go into London much.” Mr Young had a thoughtful look on his face as Crowley approached, and when he was a few feet away he snapped his fingers. “I’ve got it! The night-”

Ah shit.

“That Adam was born!”

… What?

“You- you were the doctor! I remember now, I was in a dreadful state. Pacing back and forth outside, I think I shook the nuns up a little.” Mr Young laughed quietly, shaking his head. “To think that we’d meet again all these years later!”

“Yyyyyyyyesss, yes I remember!” Crowley made a vague hand gesture. “Yeah, the uh, the hospital.”

“That’s the one!” Mr Young gave him a friendly clap on the shoulder that almost knocked Crowley off his feet. “Do you still practice?”

Practice? Wait, yep, that was what people called doctor-ing.

“No, no I don’t. Gave it up a bit after Adam was born, actually.” He shrugged, attempting nonchalance.

  
“Oh dear. Nothing bad happened, I hope?” Mr Young asked, concerned.

“Nah, not really. Just...” Shit, come on, think of something. “Azira, uh, he works in Central London and I wanted to be closer to him.” They had, after all, started spending a lot more time together after the boy was born. Or rather, both boys were born. They’d just been spending time with the wrong one.

A look passed over Mr Young’s face, one very similar to the one his wife had worn earlier that morning as if realising something.

“Ah, understandable.” He nodded, patting Crowley’s shoulder. The man was lucky of his good standing with the Son of Satan as Crowley would have forcibly removed anyone else’s hand. “The things we sacrifice, eh?”

“… Mmhmm.” Crowley replied, not really sure what to say. Sacrifice for what?

“Actually as you’re here, you wouldn’t mind helping me put some chairs out would you? We’ve got a few elderly family members and villagers coming, and the kids will need somewhere to crash once they’ve come down from all that cake.” Mr Young grinned at him and Crowley resigned himself to aiding party preparations for the next hour or so.

~*~*~

“So,” Mrs Young asked a few minutes after Crowley had exited the room. “How long have you and Crowley known eachother?”

Aziraphale smiled as he buttered some bread near the window, glancing back at her.

“Oh, a long time. I can barely remember my life without him.” He replied, cutting some sandwiches into triangles and piling them onto a plate. “It feels like a millennia.”

Mrs Young laughed from her position by the counter.

“It can feel like that, can’t it?” She said as she opened the oven, which had both miraculously started working properly and was at the perfect temperature for the fairy cakes inside. “And how long have you two been together?”

Aziraphale’s forehead creased slightly as he thought on that. Surely that was the same question?

“About the same, I suppose.” He placed the plate of sandwiches on the kitchen table and brushed crumbs from his hands.

“Well, you make a lovely couple.” Mrs Young smiled at him as she brought the tray out of the oven. “Thank goodness for that, I thought these would never cook!”

“Oh wonderful, I’m glad.” Aziraphale clapped his hands together before her earlier statement hit him.

Couple.

Ah.

~*~*~

“Ah, is that your partner then?” Mr Young pointed through the kitchen window at Aziraphale, who was leaning over the table for some reason.

“Yep, that’s him.” Crowley replied, taking the opportunity while Mr Young’s back was turned to miracle up two rows of chairs. Physical labour had never been his thing.

“He seems like a nice chap.” The man said, turning back and seemingly not noticing the chairs that had appeared out of nowhere. And didn’t quite match the others. And might have been ‘borrowed’ from the Village Hall down the road. “So, how did you two meet?”

Crowley grinned.

“Long story. But to keep it short, he had a job in a garden and I was doing something illegal.”

~*~*~

“How we met?” Aziraphale echoed, still a little flustered from her couple assumption, which he had in no way denied for some reason. “Oh well, it’s a, uh- a funny story, sort of.”

Mrs Young looked at him expectantly, a cheeky look in her eye.

“Well, um. I had a job- my first ever job- in this garden, it was a really lovely place but rather lonely, for me at least. And one day I was standing on the wall- not on the wall, I mean, by the gate, and suddenly this ser- man appears next to me and he starts talking to me.” He rambled, focusing a little too hard on how many sprinkles one should put on a cake. “And you know, when you’ve been working alone for a good long while, conversation can be welcome.”

“Oh, I know the feeling. I used to work the night shift in an office with two very unfriendly people.” Mrs Young rolled her eyes. “I would have had a conversation with the wall if it had talked back.”

Aziraphale gave a nervous chuckle.

“It did rather feel like that at times.” He smiled. “But after that we just sort of… kept bumping into each other.”

~*~*~

“Dad!”

“Ah, there’s the birthday boy!” Mr Young grinned as a now-slightly-taller Adam ran up from the back gate, trailed closely by Dog. “Where have you been?”

“Around.” Adam smiled innocently at him before turning to Crowley. “Hello Mr Crowley! Is Mr Aziraphale here too?”

“Course he is,” Crowley replied with an easy grin. “He’s helping your mum inside, wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Great! I’ve got a few things I wanna ask him.” Adam noticed the expectant look from his dad and followed up with, “Uh, it’s school stuff. English and writing and. Stuff.”

Mr Young nodded, appeased.

Dog suddenly started barking at something in the opposite direction, hackles slightly raised and teeth bared.

“Dog!” Adam exclaimed, looking as surprised as the rest of them. “What is it?”

Dog’s loud barks died down to growls and he looked up at his master, an oddly intelligent look in his eyes. Odd at least to anyone who didn’t know of his Hellish origin, as Crowley was very much aware of just how much thought Hellhounds were capable of.

“Adam, give Dog a run around would you? We don’t want him worrying the guests when they get here.” Mr Young gestured around and Adam nodded, casting a slightly worried glance at Crowley before running off, Dog at his heels.

“ _I have a… strange feeling about today. Not a bad one, but be on the lookout.”_

Anathema’s words echoed in Crowley’s head and he frowned slightly as the boy ran off, leaving him standing with Mr Young.

“He’s an odd one, that boy.” The man shook his head, turning to face Crowley. “Ah, would you look at that!” A few townspeople were approaching from the other side of the garden gate and Mr Young went to let them in.

Ugh, where was Aziraphale when you needed someone bearable to talk to?

~*~*~

“And… that’s that all finished!” Mrs Young clasped her hands together and tilted her head upwards, the image of someone in prayer. “Thank goodness, I thought I’d never be done. And thank you Mr Fell, you really saved me so much time!” She took one of Aziraphale’s hands in hers and shook it, leaving a light layer of iridescent glitter on his hand.

“Please, it was no trouble!” Aziraphale replied happily, covering their joined hands with his other one. “I’m more than happy to help.” Especially when the main problem- the oven playing up- had been quickly fixed with a small miracle.

“And just in time, I think there’s a few guests on their way.” Mrs Young glanced out the window and then at the helium balloons tied to one of the kitchen chairs. “Oh- I’m sorry to keep you but would you mind just helping me tie these to the fence? It won’t take long, it’s just a pain doing it with one pair of hands.”

Aziraphale smiled, holding his hand out to receive the balloons.

“Not at all. After you!” He gestured to the doorway, following Mrs Young out into the front garden. They tied a bunch each to the white fence posts either side of the path, Mrs Young chatting away about… something.

“… It was really a lovely day, seeing them together and so happy,” She was saying, although Aziraphale was still rather lost on how they’d gotten onto the subject of ‘my sister’s daughter’s wedding’, but it was sweet to hear about nonetheless. “And her family was so supportive, which of course can’t be said for everyone.” She grimaced as she tied the balloon ribbon in a complicated-looking knot. “Do you have family around here?”

Aziraphale felt a wince appear on his face faster than he could stop it.

“Well… not exactly, no.” He got out, pressing his pointer finger to the ribbon to miracle it into place. “My family have never been… particularly close.”

“Oh, that’s a shame.” Mrs Young replied, looking a little crestfallen.

“Yes, isn’t it just!” Came a familiar voice from behind Aziraphale and he swore he felt his heart stop. Whatever expression he had pulled had clearly caught Mrs Young’s attention as the woman straightened up, crossing her arms and looking at the newcomer.

“And who might you be?” She enquired as Aziraphale debated whether he should run or not.

“Gabriel,” He greeted, attempting to plaster a smile on his face as he turned around, linking his hands to limit their panicked fidgeting. “How unexpected.”

“Well, I heard you were in town and just thought I’d come to say hi.” The Archangel gave a half-wave, staring at Aziraphale with eyes filled with thinly veiled disdain despite the smile on his face. He then turned to Mrs Young and Aziraphale bristled, ready to jump to her defence should Gabriel attempt anything untoward. “Mrs Young, I presume? The village certainly is excited about your party. What’s the occasion?”

“It’s my son’s birthday.” She replied curtly, looking the newcomer up and down. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I’ve seen you around before?”

Gabriel clasped his hands behind his back and rocked on his feet, a habit that Aziraphale recognised from when he was trying to be extremely patient with someone he considered extremely stupid.

“No, I’m not from around here.” He pointed at himself with one of _those_ grins. “Hear the accent?” His lavender eyes moved to Aziraphale, who hadn’t moved an inch. “I’m with the church, we’re travelling around England to see how you all are… getting on.”

Even Archangels were terrible liars.

“Then lo and behold, I hear my little… brother...” The gritted teeth on that word were audible. “Is in one of our towns! So I thought I’d come and say hello.” He slung an arm around Aziraphale, gripping his shoulder just a little too tight to be friendly.

“Well, you’ve said hello now.” Aziraphale replied evenly, and quite frankly with more grace than Gabriel deserved. “Shouldn’t you be getting on?”

“Oh? But we have so much to catch up on.”

~*~

“- and then the butcher turned around and said-” Mr Young gave an exasperated sigh as he turned around to where the kids were standing. “Adam, could you please shut Dog up? He’s been barking all afternoon!”

“Sorry dad!” Adam called back, glancing over at Crowley with a concerned look on his face. He hadn’t seen Dog bark this much since The Incident nearly a whole year ago and it was worrying.

“Sorry about that chaps, Dog is a rather excitable fellow as you can see.” Mr Young clapped his hands together, chuckling. The small group of townspeople milling around echoed it and Crowley began to wonder if any of them would notice if he sunk into the ground to get _away from this infernal smalltalk_.

Dog suddenly snarled, the noise barely registering to the humans around them but thundering like an avalanche charged with lightning to Crowley’s sensitive ears.

Something was wrong.

He swiftly approached the children, Dog still dancing around their feet and yapping away.

“You. Dog.” He called, and the Hellhound immediately ceased his noise and turned to face him. “Show me.”  
  


Dog seemed to exude an air of ‘ _Finally!_ ’ before turning and running to a secluded corner of the garden.

“Where’s he going?” Adam asked, surprised at the dog obeying anyone but himself.

“To show me what’s wrong. Don’t follow.” Crowley instructed in a low, warning voice, before following the dog which was now snarling at the roots of an old tree.

“Always so perceptivvve, Crowley.” Came a flat voice from behind the tree, and the short Lord of Hell stepped out from behind its thick trunk. “Good to zzzee that Angel of yourzzz hasn’t zzsoftened you too much.”

“Ah, Beelzebub.” Crowley placed a hand on his hip and tipped his head, hoping that the Fly Demon wouldn’t pick up on his now-racing heart. “What brings you here.”

~*~

“I’m afraid now is not a good time, Gabriel.” Aziraphale replied in the calmest voice he could muster, stepping away from the taller Angel’s constricting grasp. “I’m terribly busy helping Mrs Young with her party, I just don’t have- “

“C’mon kiddo, just a few minutes for little old me.” The smile on his face grew even more forced, if possible, and Aziraphale seriously contemplated jumping away for a moment before realising he’d be leaving Mrs Young alone with him if he did.

“I’m so sorry,” The aforementioned women spoke up with a forced smile that almost matched Gabriel’s. “But I really do need dear Azira’s help in setting up. I’m sure you can come by for a chat later, Mr… I’m sorry, what was it?”

“Gabriel.” Gabriel ground out, fists clenching at his sides at such utter _disrespect_ from this lowly human.

“Right, yes, like the angel.” Mrs Young continued, linking her arm with Aziraphale’s and turning to lead him inside. “Such a shame you don’t have his grace.”

Her human ears could not pick up the indignant Enochian shriek let out as she slammed the door behind them, but Aziraphale just about registered it as he realised what she’d done to save him.

“Good lord, are you two really related?” She asked in a hushed whisper, sitting him down at the kitchen table. “You’re nothing alike!”

“Y-yes, well,” Aziraphale stammered in reply, taking the mug of tea she rather forcefully shoved into his hands before sitting down beside him. “It was ah, more of an… adoptive family, than anything. Not all of us got along very well.”

“If they’re all like him, then no wonder.” Mrs Young rolled her eyes before patting his hand gently. “I’m so glad you and Crowley found eachother.”

“Yes…” Aziraphale glanced out of the window to see Crowley standing near the children, looking down at the Dog. “So am I.”

~*~

“What are you doing here, Beelzebub?” Crowley asked again, interruping Beelzebub’s long, drawn out, full of ‘zzz’s’ speech about… whatever.

“If you would liszen,” They growled, folding their arms. In their ‘Human’ guise they looked much less menacing, with almost clear skin, normal eyes and no giant insect topping their head. “You would know. We’re here to talk to the Boy.”

“Oh?” Crowley almost smirked at that, rocking back on his heels. “And what are you going to talk to him about?”

“The end of the-”

“The World, yes, whatever. Didn’t get the message last time he told you to buzz off?” He answered mockingly, glancing back at the kids to make sure they were keeping their distance. They were, for now.

“We have a new offer for him.”

“Oh really, what is it? A shiny new bike, a bigger throne- wait, who’s ‘we?’”

“The Angels. After your sztunt, running away with your little feathered pet, we… decided to _temporarily_ put azzide our differenzes and work… together.” Beelzebub spat as if the very notion offended them- which it probably did. “We’re going to end the world and- why are you laughing.”

Crowley waved a hand, putting his over his mouth as he giggled.

“Right, yeah, good one. Thanks for that Beebz, I haven’t had a laugh like that in ages.” He shook his head before turning and walking back to the party. “Go to Hell, tell everyone I said hi!”

~*~

“Ah, here she is! The woman of the hour!” Arthur announced loudly as his wife entered the garden with Aziraphale in tow.

“Oh please, we all know you’re just here for the cake.” Mrs Young waved a hand good-naturedly, smiling at the guests. “How was setting up, you look like you’re all in one piece?”

“Just about, thanks to this helpful fellow!” Mr Young slapped Crowley on the back, nearly knocking his glasses off his face as he returned from wherever he’d been. “Good god man, go eat something! You’re the skinniest thing I’ve ever seen!”

“Oh yes, what a wonderful idea!” Aziraphale seemed to appear out of nowhere at Crowley’s side, seizing his arm. “I’ll take care of him, don’t you worry!”

“Angel, we have a situation-” Crowley began as he was dragged out of earshot, almost stumbling over his own feet.

“Crowley, Gabriel’s here-” Aziraphale spoke at the same time before pausing, causing Crowley to bump into him. “What’s your situation?”

“Gabriel’s here- Beelzebub is here!” Crowley hissed, twisting around inhumanely for a moment to make sure they weren’t being overheard. “They were skulking behind a tree watching everyone, apparently all our old _colleagues_ are collaborating to try to get Adam to destroy the world again.”

“Oh my…” Aziraphale brought the hand that wasn’t still gripping Crowley’s arm to his mouth. “That does make sense, I didn’t have a chance to get anything out of Gabriel before Mrs Young shouted at him-”

“She did _what?!”_ Crowley near-barked, voice dropping to a whisper. “She did what?!”

“Oh it was awfully entertaining looking back at it now but also very frightening, I thought he was going to smite her on the spot-” Aziraphale cut himself off as he saw who had now joined the party. “Why are they both talking to the Young’s?”

~*~

“- and so the butcher, he turns around and says-”

Beelzebub had to seriously concentrate to stop their eyes rolling to the back of their head. In the name of Hell, how did humans put up with eachother.

“Yezzzz, very funny.” They deadpanned, slow-clapping as the other people around them laughed. “I can hardly stand, my sides are splitting.”

“Isn’t it just!” Mr Young shook his head, somehow oblivious to the heavily laden sarcasm. “Oh- I’m so sorry, I don’t think we’ve met? Are you new to the village?”

Beelzebub gave a wide smile that took up far too much of their small face and held nothing behind the eyes.

The people around them shuffled back slightly.

“You could zzay that. I’m Bee.” They stuck out a hand that Mr Young shook cordially, although privately thinking that this young person really needed something to fix their clammy palms. “You’ve met my sibling, Crowley?”

“Oh! You’re related to Crowley?” Mr Young looked them over once, spotting exactly… no similarities. “Distantly, I take it?”

“You could zzay that.” Beelzebub repeated, suddenly realising that the smile was still on their face and wiping it immediately. Facial expressions were hard to keep up in corporeal forms, they griped internally. “Zzuch a shame, what happened…”

“Oh?” Mr Young, absolutely not one for gossip of course (a lie), offered.

Beelzebub smiled.

~*~

“A wonderful party Diedre, really! And the food is perfect as always.”

“Oh bless you Mary, but I can’t take all the credit.” Mrs Young grinned, waving at Aziraphale who was in deep conversation with Crowley over by the house. “That Mr Fell saved the day, I swear he turned up and miracles started to happen!”

“Did they now?”

Mrs Young suppressed a grimace at the American voice behind her and she turned, hands on her hips as her elderly neighbour Mary tottered off.

“Mr Gabriel, I don’t remember inviting you to my son’s party.”

“No? Well I am truly sorry, I assumed that if you were inviting the likes of my _brother_ in then it was fair game.” He shrugged, looking far too out of place in his immaculate suit and a pocket square that matched his… oddly purple eyes.

“I’m afraid you were wrong, and I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” She gestured to the garden gate, looking at him expectantly.

“Oh, but Mrs Young,” Gabriel continued, taking a step towards her so he towered over the petite woman. “I think you should know just what kind of person Azira is before you go around inviting him to your parties. I take it you hadn’t met before today, no?”

Mrs Young raised an eyebrow.

“You’d be correct, and yet I like him a lot more than I like you right now.”

Gabriel tsked, linking his hands behind his back and looking over the garden.

“It really is a shame what happened. We used to be such a close family, before he met… that man.” His eyes slid down to meet Mrs Young’s. “Surprising, really. How meeting one person can break a family apart.”

Now, one thing was important to know in this matter: both Heaven and Hell had no feelings regarding humans of the same sex… coupling. It really had no hand in the grand scheme of things and really, there were far more important matters in the universe than who the tiny meat creatures found attractive.

Humans, however. They had a wonderful talent for creating new and inventive ways to put eachother apart, and, well… Gabriel was going to use that to his advantage.

~*~

“… and our father, he wazzz never the zzame zzince.” Beelzebub finished, voice rasping.

“I see.” Mr Young seemed pensive, a hand on his chin as he thought what Beelzebub had just said over. “So, let me get this straight. You cut off your own brother because he fell for another man.”

“Well, it wazzz a hard decizzion, but-”

“I think I have to ask you to leave now, Bee.” Arthur cut them off, crossing his arms, a rare expression of anger on his face. “It was perfectly nice meeting you and all but quite frankly, men- women- people of your belief have no place in my home or at my son’s party.”

“… What.”

~*~

“And the falling out when he announced he was leaving, oh!” Gabriel sighed dramatically, pressing a hand to his forehead while he watched Mrs Young’s reaction out of the corner of his eye. “I would rather face trial by hellfire than what he put us through in the end.” Michael would get a kick out of that reference, if nothing else. “It really is so sad, what happened-”

“Gabriel.” Mrs Young’s voice was flat and devoid of emotion, although he expected her to start profusely thanking him any second… “I think you should leave.”

… Now… wait, what?

“Wait, what?” Gabriel replied, looking down at her in shock. The small woman had her hands on her hips and was glaring up at him with such force that for a moment, he feared he was about to be discorporated.

“How dare you,” She began, stepping towards him and marvelling in him taking a step back to avoid her. “Come to my house, to my son’s birthday party, and start spouting a sob story about how _you_ and _your family_ abandoned my friend because he _dared_ love another man?!”

This was unexpected.

~*~

“… and you seemed like a perfectly nice young… person but really, I do not feel comfortable having someone with your views around my son and his friends, I’m sure you know how impressionable children can be…”

Beelzebub stared at Mr Young, unable to believe what he was spouting.

“… and quite frankly I think you should go and think about how you treated your brother and his partner! It’s your own fault that you lost him and you will find no sympathy here!” He hmphed as he finished, pointing towards the gate.

“… Are you done.”

“Quite! Now off you hop, I would offer you cake but I’m afraid I don’t think you deserve any.” He placed a hand on Beelzebub’s shoulder- the _nerve of this human-_ and frog-marched them in the direction of the gate.

~*~

“But Mrs Young, I-”

“No! This is unacceptable behaviour from a man of the Church and quite frankly, you should be ashamed of yourself, young man.” Mrs Young continued her tirade as she advanced on Gabriel, sheperding him away from the party and towards the gate. “No matter how you feel about Azira leaving, I can guarantee that he feels worse given that he was _abandoned_ by his own family!” She continued angrily, pushing him out of the garden and closing the gate behind him. “Blood may be thicker than water but so is soup, and as long as Azira has us then he does not need you!”

She didn’t look back at the shocked Angel as she walked back to the party, head held high.

“Zzzo. Here we are again.” A voice came from his right and Gabriel jumped, looking down at the small Demon beside him.

“… Indeed. Did you get a chance to talk to the boy?”

“No. Did you?”

“Nope.” They regarded the humans for a few more silent moment. “How about we don’t mention this to the higher ups and chalk it down to a draw?”

“Deal.”

~*~

“Oh my, oh my, oh my,” Aziraphale muttered anxiously as Gabriel leaned over Mrs Young, a sly smirk on his face. “This isn’t good, this isn’t good at all.”

“Oh shit…” Crowley whispered at his side, watching Beelzebub sidle up to Mr Young. “Fuck, what the hell are they doing?”

“Mr Crowley! Mr Aziraphale!” Adam whispered as he ran up to them, casting anxious glances at the two Beings currently accosting his parents. “What are they doing?!”

“No idea, kid-” Crowley started, just as Mrs Young started shouting.

“How dare you come to my house, to my son’s birthday party, and start spouting a sob story about how _you_ and _your family_ abandoned my friend because he _dared_ love another man?!”

Crowley choked on air for a moment before Aziraphale turned to him, hands a fluttery panic.

  
“Oh, yes, also everyone seems to think we’re married.” He informed the Demon next to him who seemed to be on the verge of a choking fit.

“Wait, you’re not?” Adam asked from beside them, surprise taking over his fear for a moment.

“Not the time, Adam.” Crowley wheezed, trying to get his breathing back under control as he realised the burning weight of Aziraphale’s hand still clutching his arm.

The three Otherworldly beings watched in disbelief as the young man’s parents tore down the Angel and Demon respectively, before not-so-gently escorting them both to the exit.

“Wow.” Crowley exclaimed as Mrs Young slammed the gate. “So uh, the next time they bother us we’re coming here. Right Angel?”

Aziraphale nodded wordlessly, just about catching Mrs Young’s final words to his Angelic ‘Sibling’.

“… _Blood may be thicker than water but so is soup, and as long as Azira has us then he does not need you!”_

Unbidden, Aziraphale suddenly found his eyes tearing up quite suddenly.

“Angel?” Crowley murmured, slipping his arm out from Aziraphale’s hold and touching his face gently. “You okay?”

“I-” Aziraphale watched as Mrs Young rejoined the party, accepting a drink from her husband as she slipped her hand into his. “Yes, I’m quite well. I forget how the feeling of Love affects me, sometimes.”

There was quiet for a moment as the Angel leaned against the Demon subconsciously, fingers brushing against his.

“So you guys really aren’t married?” Adam asked from behind them, making them jump.

“Not the time, Adam!”

~*~

“And it really has been wonderful seeing everyone here!”

“He does this every time we have a party,” Mrs Young whispered to Aziraphale behind her hand. “He really fancies himself a Churchill when it comes to speeches!”

Aziraphale chuckled, applauding with the others as Mr Young’s lengthy and dramatic speech came to an end. “Well, he’s certainly more captivating than my brother’s… sermons are.”

“I’m sure.” Mrs Young rolled her eyes before gently grasping Aziraphale’s arm. “Are you sure you’re alright after that? I’m sure seeing someone like that can be jarring.”

“Oh, I’ll be fine. It’s nothing that hasn’t happened before.” Aziraphale looked across the garden to where the children were pestering Crowley for some reason. “I’m just glad that we’re still together, after all this time.”

Mrs Young smiled at him softly, patting his hand before standing.   
  


“Right, I think it’s time for presents before we cut the cake. And better get those kids to stop pestering your poor husband, he has more patience than most!”

“Doesn’t he just.” Aziraphale laughed quietly, gaze fixed on the demon who seemed to be explaining something in depth to the kids surrounding him. He should probably be more concerned than he was, and should probably address the whole ‘assumed marriage’ situation at some point, but for now… it could wait.

“Hello Aziraphale!” Came a familiar voice from the driveway as the gate swung open and Anathema approached, followed by Newt.

“Miss Device, Mr Pulsifer!” Aziraphale stood and accepted a hug from the young woman. “My, what took you so long?”

Anathema rolled her eyes, setting down a wrapped present and a bag on a nearby chair before gesturing at Newt.

“You would never believe the afternoon we had! First the snacks I was making burned because Newt accidentally touched the oven, then his car wouldn’t start, and you wouldn’t believe the potholes in the road on the way here. They’re deadly!” She shook her head, wavy hair flying around and hitting Newt in the face. “Honestly, your English roads. How’s the party been so far?”

“Well it was going alright, we got here, Crowley helped Mr Young set up, I helped Mrs Young do some baking, Gabriel and Beelzebub appeared and tried to create mayhem-”

“What?” Anathema and Newt shouted in tandem, attracting the attention of several people in the garden.

“Oh, it’s quite alright! The Young’s scared them off quite efficiently, it was really rather impressive.” Aziraphale enthused, putting his hands out in a placating gesture. “Oh, and also everyone here seems to be under the belief that Crowley and I are married, so if you wouldn’t mind supporting that idea then that would be splendid as I’ve rather dug myself quite a hole.”

A look was shared between the two young people which was then turned to Aziraphale.

“Wait, you mean you aren’t married?”

~*~

“Now, don’t you hesitate to come on by and visit any time. You hear?” Mrs Young instructed, forcing a tuppaware box full of cake into Aziraphale’s hands.

“Y-yes, Mrs Young. Thank-you ever so much for the invitation and for being so welcoming.” Aziraphale replied with a smile, accepting the hug when she offered it.

“Oh honestly, stop being so polite and call me Deirdre.” She squeezed him before stepping back, glancing over to near the Bentley that her husband had spent the last five minutes fawning over. “You and Crowley look after yourselves, and if you ever need anything just give us a call. Alright?”

Aziraphale swallowed back tears at the honesty in her words and nodded, grasping her hands gratefully.

“Only if you do the same!” He replied jovially before taking a step back. “Well, we’d best be going. I do hope Adam enjoys his gifts, and I am so sorry about Crowley’s… well, his gift.”

“Well, it isn’t every day that your son is given a pet snake for his birthday but I’m sure Adam will take very good care of it.” Deirdre kissed his cheek before gently pushing him in the direction of the car. “Off you go, don’t want you getting home too late!”

Aziraphale approached the Bentley, spotting the proud look on Crowley’s face as Mr Young gushed over the… wheel rims, or something, before he spotted the Angel.

“Ready to go?” Crowley asked, pushing himself off of the hood of the car and shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Absolutely. Thank-you so much for inviting us Mr Young, it really was a lovely party.”

“Oh it was our pleasure gents, I’m just glad to have faces to put to names!” Mr Young shook his hand enthusiastically, offering it to Crowley before dropping it at the lack of response. “I’m sure Deirdre already said but you’d better both come visit some time, I know my boy is fond of you. Also- call me Arthur, Mr Young makes me feel old.” He pulled a face before wandering back to the house, waving at them. “Have a good drive, lads!”

The two Ethereal Beings climbed into the Bentley, Crowley starting her up and beginning the slow drive out of the village.

“So. That was something.” Aziraphale started, breaking the fragile silence around them. As if on cue, a quiet song started playing through the radio.

“Wasn’t it just.” Crowley shifted in his seat, glancing at Aziraphale out of the corner of his eye. He’d taken his sunglasses off for now, the cover of night making the world darker than it usually was.

“Isn’t it funny how they thought we were married?” Aziraphale blurted out, hands fidgeting in his lap as he looked anywhere but Crowley.

“Mmn.” Crowley hummed in reply, tapping his hands on the steering wheel. There was silence for a few moments.

“Crowley?”

“Hmm?”

“Are we married?”

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this last year and just kinda... ran out of steam? Luckily I got reminded of it recently and managed to finish it in one sitting!!
> 
> They are 100% married and everyone knows it.


End file.
